“Perfection is the enemy of progress.” This quote has surfaced a few times in professional dialogue over the course of the past few weeks. Today we will reflect upon how a focus on perfection can damage the very heart of relationships we depend upon to grow in virtue.
In education, we are surrounded by people all day long...our students, our colleagues, our coaches and administrators, parents, and community members. It is a profession built upon relationships with other.
My daily goal and prayer is to learn from every person I encounter each day, and do so with an unbiased approach through which the Holy Spirit can flow. This sounds so easy to write, yet if actively and honestly applying this approach, the challenge is immense. Why? The answer is our pride. As a matter of fact, our biases can blind us so deeply that they even make some people and moments invisible to us. In a addition, a sense of perfection can drive an unhealthy sense of competition amongst those we are called to support and learn from.
Humility is at the heart of a growth mindset. I am convinced it is the virtue on which all temperaments stand on common ground. It is from humility that the beautiful roots of self growth and collective growth is possible when we collaborate with others at professional development, in PLC’s or grade level teams, or in one on one exchanges. It is at the heart of family life as we sacrifice our own self-interest to elevate our spouse or children.
Regardless of our temperament, pride can get in the way of progress. So often a very palpable sense of competition might take over a choleric, or the joyful “know it all” of a sanguine clouds opportunities to genuinely listen, a narrow sense of justice might blind the melancholic, or lack of confidence may be disguised as humility by the phlegmatic who doesn’t want to give input or rock the boat. All of these tendencies stem from pride. Yet, once aware of them we can be intentional about pushing through and getting to the heart of our personal goal or team goal.
Here’s a phrase we throw around a lot as educators and parents. “Pick your battles.” There are times we know it best in our heart not to engage with another that is inviting conflict, whether it be a student or an adult, yet so often we make the wrong choice for the wrong reasons.
Our pride invites us to engage - maybe somebody is watching the interaction and we don’t want to be judged...maybe the burning need to be respected is driving our response. What would happen if we removed “all eyes” - even our own - from the situation except Christ’s? Would we respond differently?
To establish authority and show who is in charge is not necessarily wrong. As a matter of fact, to establish a culture of learning in our classroom or a culture of love in our homes, this is very necessary . Yet, pride is often a barrier as to how the Spirit might lead us in these intimate exchanges with those we love.
The following is a Litany of Humility that I believe is at the core of growing in virtue and all other virtues:
O Jesus meek and humble of heart, Hear me.
From the desire of being esteemed, Deliver, me, Jesus.
From the desire of being loved, Deliver me, Jesus.
From the desire of being extolled, Deliver me, Jesus.
From the desire of being honored, Deliver me, Jesus.
From the desire of being praised, Deliver me, Jesus.
From the desire of being preferred to others, Deliver me Jesus.
From the desire of being consulted, Deliver me, Jesus.
From the desire of being approved, Deliver me, Jesus.
From the fear of being humiliated, Deliver me, Jesus.
From the fear of being despised, Deliver me, Jesus.
From the fear of suffering rebukes, Deliver me, Jesus.
From the fear of being calumniated, Deliver, me, Jesus.
From the fear of being forgotten, Deliver me, Jesus.
From the fear of being ridiculed, Deliver me, Jesus.
From the fear of being wronged, Deliver me, Jesus.
From the fear of being suspected, Deliver me, Jesus.
That others may be loved more than I, Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.
That others may be esteemed more than I, Jesus grant me the grace to desire it.
That in the opinion of the world, others may increase, and I may decrease,
Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.
That others may be chosen and I set aside, Jesus grant me the grace to desire it.
That others may be praised and I unnoticed, Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.
That others may be preferred to me in everything, Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.
That others may become holier than I, provided that I become as holy as I should,
Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.
Pride muddies everything. It is a cover up we depend on so we feel emotionally strong and confident and avoid the very naked awareness of our vulnerability. We “self talk” our way out of feeling the burn of being humbled when our pride backfires on us and someone gets hurt. We go to others and commiserate to soften the blow. Let’s take it to the cross instead and be empowered by the merciful love our Savior.
Once intentional reflection and practice on the virtue of humility becomes the blood that flows through our every discourse and each exchange with a loved one, co-worker, or student… our own path becomes that much clear as we are lead by the Spirit.
Perfection is the enemy of progress, especially as we strive to grow in holiness.
