Discover Purpose

We’ve been talking a lot at my school lately about “purpose” and “engagement.” A learner might be engaged in a task busily completing the directions of the assignment, but their engagement level increases significantly to a higher level of comprehension, problem solving, and making deep connections if they also know the purpose of the task. As teachers, we’ve been challenging ourselves through simple practices to help learners discover the purpose behind a learning target. 

This is true for us as adults as well. As an administrator I have learned that the purpose of an expectation or protocol is not established (with true roots) simply because I explain or introduce the purpose at a faculty meeting or in the staff notes, even if I think I explain it well. Rather teachers have to come to know it in a personal way and discover its purpose. 

For example, for public schools the State of Michigan has implemented the 3rd Grade Reading Law which has led to quite a makeover of how we address (and document how we’re addressing) the needs of struggling readers. It takes time, something no one has much of...The goal is the power of collaboration and collective efforts in this process which is the key to student success. However, I can’t wave a magic wand and make all understand that purpose.

 I work closely with my leadership team to provide authentic opportunities for everyone to encounter and discover its purpose in a meaningful way. Because it is law and does not come from within, many mindsets get stuck at the compliance end of the documentation.

The demands of education have changed and there is very little patience left for compliance related tasks, even though these tasks are often an important part of the process. It is an underlying conversation or tension that crawls beneath each “change” introduced…even if everyone has a common understanding of the positive intention of that change…even if everyone is trying to embrace a growth mindset by taking risks and not being paralyzed by failure in the face of change. 

This sense of discovery in purpose is not “one size fits all” or “one and done.” It is a layered process and takes time. We all have our own unique pace and so do our students. We also have an individual responsibility to chip away at the burdens of our temperaments and mindsets that might be a barrier to engaging in the greater purpose or we risk losing the “joy” that led us to our calling and vocation. Joy is a fruit of the Spirit and will be given endlessly if we practice the path of holiness through intentional growth in virtue. It’s not easy.

It is my goal to meet each educator where they are at and to invite them into the conversation over and over again because each voice is important. The same is true for teachers and their students. We need to meet our students where they are at in helping them understand the purpose behind the busy work they are engaged in. It takes a lot of work and heart to do this day after day. We have so many needs, but God is with us and ready to meet us where we are at. 

In Day # 3 of his Surrender Novena, Fr. Dolindo teaches us a deeper purpose of the words our Lord Jesus Christ taught to us. How often do you say the Our Father with a heart of compliance versus a heart of purpose? This novena has deepened my sense of purpose when I pray this traditional prayer. 

He writes: “Hallowed be thy Name,” that is, be glorified in my need. 

“Thy kingdom come,” that is, let all that is in us and in the world be in accord with your kingdom. 

“Thy will be done earth as it is in heaven,” that is, in our need, decide as you see fit for our temporal and eternal life. 

If you say to me truly: “Thy will be done,” which is the same as saying, “You take care of it,” I will intervene with all my omnipotence, and I will resolve the most difficult situations. 

For as long as I have said the Our Father, “Hallowed be thy Name” has always been a pretty fancy way of saying, “Hello great King and Father!” But now I have discovered greater purpose in this single line of of a prayer that I have recited since childhood. Now when I say, “Hallowed be thy name,” I also am saying, “Lord, I come to you in my need, those known to me and even unknown. Only you know my needs Lord and only You can save me. Through this act of humility, YOU ARE GLORIFIED.”

What more will the Lord make known when we humbly surrender to Him our needs, our anxieties, and our purpose? 

Resistance

I was recently introduced to the book Innovator's Mindset  by George Couros. I resisted the book at first being skeptical of, “the next thing,” likely capitalizing on Carol Dweck’s growth mindset research. Curiosity finally got the best of me. As expected, Mr. Couros was quoting Carol Dweck in the first chapter. Yet unexpectedly, I was deeply intrigued by his message.

What is the difference between a growth mindset and an innovator’s mindset? How does this apply to our quest to grow in virtue and holiness  by being intentional and empathic disciples? 

Couros defines an Innnovator’s Mindset as the, “belief that my abilities, intelligence, and talents can be developed, leading to the creation of new and better ideas.” 

Belief that our abilities, intelligence, and talents can be developed, we have explored in great length over the past year. We have applied growth mindset to being intentional about taking risks and allowing our own failures to strengthen us as we strive to grow in virtue. We have used growth mindset as a tool to respond to change in our classrooms, schools, churches, and personal life.

Couros takes this idea one step further by encouraging through empathy that we might discover new and better ideas. He argues that as educators by focusing on what’s best for learners, we will create and design learning experiences. 

He had me hooked when he used the word empathic. It was so affirming  as this has been the backbone of this blog. I actually went back to reread my very first post…November 25, 2016. It was the first week of Advent. Here was my challenge:

“I challenge you to consider your daily encounters or avoidance of encounters. I challenge you to revise them with a new mindset - one that is intentional and empathic.” 

The challenge remains the same. Yet now we know that while being intentional about meeting our students and those we love “where they’re at,” we too must ask the Holy Spirit daily to meet us where we are at and to lead us to the personal growth that our Lord so desires for each of us. Only then can we truly extend trust, openness, and collaboration in our classrooms, homes, and churches. 

For each of us that means something different. Perhaps your temperament is choleric. Extending a growth mindset to an innovator’s mindset might mean to be intentional about not being in charge all of the time; to step back a little and allow an environment for students to explore, to make room for the Holy Spirit to connect and inspire learning amidst all of your well executed plans…and of course embrace the unexpected in these moments, both good and bad, as something to learn from and create new. 

For the sanguine, who seems to be in a constant state of inspiration because they just can’t hold it all in, maybe it means being intentional about quieting down… stepping out of the center of attention so the Holy Spirit can bring forth the beauty of a moment -  Like a living highlighter bringing attention to connections you hadn’t seen before or hearing the voice of a child or colleague in a  new way.

For the melancholic, perhaps it means letting your guard down for just a little second. Stop questioning. Stop analyzing. Maybe even look for value in one of those ridiculous expectations that seem like a great injustice and busy work to which you must comply when you could be doing something better with your time. 

For the phlegmatic, it means having the confidence to speak up, even if and especially if, everyone might not agree with you. It means being empathic about the responses of others by not taking it personally, rather as a collective effort to problem solve.

Now…one might argue do we need innovation? Does it contrast the church’s clear opposition to trends in modernism, immediate gratification, and other cultural norms that distract us from gratitude, charity, humility, and true joy? 

I argue that the Saints had not only a growth mindset, but an innovator’s mindset. Despite glaring obstacles, challenges, failures, and persecution they persevered - allowing the Holy Spirit to lead them. Here are just a few that have changed the course of American education: 

St. Francis Cabrini Xavier: Because of her frail health, she was not permitted to join the Daughters of the Sacred Heart who had been her teachers and under whose guidance she obtained her teaching certificate. However, in 1880, with seven young women, Frances founded the Institute of the Missionary Sisters of the Sacred Heart of Jesus. She eventually made 23 trans-Atlantic crossings and established 67 institutions: schools, hospitals and orphanages. (https://www.mothercabrini.org/who-we-are/mother-cabrini/)

St. Katharine Drexel: During her lifetime, she opened, staffed and directly supported nearly 60 schools and missions, especially in the West and Southwest United States. Her crowning educational focus was the establishment in 1925 of Xavier University of Louisiana, the only predominantly Afro-American Catholic institution of higher learning in the United States. (http://www.vatican.va/news_services/liturgy/saints/ns_lit_doc_20001001_katharine-drexel_en.html)

St. Mother Theodore Guerin: A French nun of fragile health, Guerin was doubtful when her superiors asked her to sail to America to lead a small band of missionaries in rural Indiana. "It is astonishing that this remote solitude has been chosen for a novitiate and especially for an academy," she wrote in her journal. "All appearances are against it." Yet within a year she opened St. Mary's Academy for Young Ladies and went on to establish schools throughout Indiana and Illinois. (http://www.latimes.com/nation/la-na-pope-visit-us-saints-20150911-htmlstory.html)

All three of these women are Saints of the 20th century. They had a mindset Fixed on God, yet they were innovative and ready to respond to the needs around them. 

I’ll be honest I had never heard of St. Mother Theodore Guerin until about ten minutes ago when I did a google search. I think my favorite part of her bio is that she was “doubtful” when her superiors asked her to lead a band of missionaries to a remote land, yet she overcame that and did not let resistance come in the way of opportunity. She trusted. 

 After reading the Saints accounts, how silly I feel that I resisted even reading a recommended book because of my own speculations?  Wow. How humbling. I have such a long way to Sainthood! What have you resisted or doubted lately?

I suppose part of having an innovator’s mindset means to embrace where we are at by breaking the chains of constant resistance.  

Smallness

Tis’ the season…. I wake up. Tip-toeing around like usual so the slightest sound doesn’t wake the baby…or the toddler..or the preschooler. I admit…sometimes I say my morning prayer in the bathroom with the door closed afraid that once I exit and a footstep is heard, my window of quiet time will be lost. 

Today I decide to courageously light the Advent wreath on the little table in our kitchen. I open the junk drawer ever so carefully to not make a sound as I retrieve the lighter. Once successful, I sit down and take a deep breath and look around me. Above me hangs the Christmas cards that have been trickling in. The light catches glitter on one and my attention draws to the stable animals. Then, I lean over and reread the mass card I received from my mother. I opened it yesterday, but did not really pay attention as I should have when I hung it up with the others.

“A God who became so small, could only be mercy and love.”

 ~ St. Therese. 

The familiar “pricklies” that I’ve come to know course through my body and rise to my cheeks making a burning sensation. I have come to call this very tangible feeling of the Holy Spirit rising in me a kiss or a hug from my Lord. He speaks to me through this and I always know it is Him. 

Smallness.

How contrary to this reflection of St. Therese does Christmas seem to be. Big gifts, Big meals, Big gatherings. 

Yet, I think in my day to day life to those moments I make myself small so I can see with a real lens the needs of those I encounter…my students, my teachers, my parents, my friends, my own children, and so often last, my husband. 

We are prone to judgment, to excuses, to our own limited reality. How do we make ourselves small like the infant Jesus? I have already shared the Litany of Humility in this blog from which I have received so much strength from consistent daily meditation, which in my opinion is the cornerstone of a growth mindset.

My moments of anxiety, bitterness, self-doubt stem from those times I curse my unfinished and cluttered house, my lack of balance between work and home, my lack of quiet time to write and pray, my parenting skills. It’s a lot of racket I want to escape, but I can’t because I have responsibilities to my family and my community.

I just recently shared with my staff the following Steve Jobs video. He explains how his metaphor for teamwork came from a humble interaction with an elderly widowed man whom he knew from cutting his lawn. Making himself small enough to interact with him taught a lesson that shaped Steve Jobs life. The metaphor revolves around the exploration of an old machine in his garage to polish ordinary stones. 

While the stones were in the simple machine overnight, they made a lot of racket…but ultimately were smooth and beautiful to behold. This metaphor can be explored in great depth. But, let me say, I find it most beautiful that this moment ever occurred because Mr. Jobs wasn’t distracted or prideful, but made himself small, curious, and open to the world around him.

Sin is the racket in my life that takes me from this openness. The evil one uses my own insecurities to generate that anxiety, bitterness, and self doubt. It is loud and chaotic in my spirit at these times, yet they always bring me to my knees in supplication for God’s mercy. They always make me small, so I can receive his mercy and love.

In all of these real and vulnerable moments there is the little hand of my Lord, with his teeny tiny fingers holding on to my pointer finger. His trust is in Mary. He is God of the universe, so small, humble, and pure. That is why the evil one will always lose when we call upon the name above all names, Jesus Christ.

This Advent season I pray that God heals us. I pray that through our trials and our joys, He makes us small, like Him. 

“A God who became so small, could only be mercy and love.”

~St. Therese

Deliver Me

“Perfection is the enemy of progress.” This quote has surfaced a few times in professional dialogue over the course of the past few weeks. Today we will reflect upon how a focus on perfection can damage the very heart of relationships we depend upon to grow in virtue. 

In education, we are surrounded by people all day long...our students, our colleagues, our coaches and administrators, parents, and  community members. It is a profession built upon relationships with other.

My daily goal and prayer is to learn from every person I encounter each day, and do so with an unbiased approach through which the Holy Spirit can flow. This sounds so easy to write, yet if actively and honestly applying this approach, the challenge is immense. Why? The answer is our pride. As a matter of fact, our biases can blind us so deeply that they even make some people and moments invisible to us. In a addition, a sense of perfection can drive an unhealthy sense of competition amongst those we are called to support and learn from.

Humility is at the heart of a growth mindset. I am convinced it is the virtue on which all temperaments stand on common ground. It is from humility that the beautiful roots of self growth and collective growth is possible when we collaborate with others at professional development, in PLC’s or grade level teams, or in one on one exchanges. It is at the heart of family life as we sacrifice our own self-interest to elevate our spouse or children.

Regardless of our temperament, pride can get in the way of progress. So often a very palpable sense of competition might take over a choleric, or the joyful “know it all” of a sanguine clouds opportunities to genuinely listen, a narrow sense of justice might blind the melancholic, or lack of confidence may be disguised as humility by the phlegmatic who doesn’t want to give input or rock the boat. All of these tendencies stem from pride. Yet, once aware of them we can be intentional about pushing through and getting to the heart of our personal goal or team goal.

Here’s a phrase we throw around a lot as educators and parents. “Pick your battles.” There are times we know it best in our heart not to engage with another that is inviting conflict, whether it be a student or an adult, yet so often we make the wrong choice for the wrong reasons. 

Our pride invites us to engage - maybe somebody is watching the interaction and we don’t want to be judged...maybe the burning need to be respected is driving our response. What would happen if we removed “all eyes” - even our own - from the situation except Christ’s? Would we respond differently? 

To establish authority and show who is in charge is not necessarily wrong. As a matter of fact, to establish a culture of learning in our classroom or a culture of love in our homes, this is very necessary . Yet, pride is often a barrier as to how the Spirit might lead us in these intimate exchanges with those we love. 

The following is a Litany of Humility that I believe is at the core of growing in virtue and all other virtues: 

O Jesus meek and humble of heart, Hear me.

From the desire of being esteemed, Deliver, me, Jesus.

From the desire of being loved, Deliver me, Jesus.

From the desire of being extolled, Deliver me, Jesus.

From the desire of being honored, Deliver me, Jesus.

From the desire of being praised, Deliver me, Jesus.

From the desire of being preferred to others, Deliver me Jesus.

From the desire of being consulted, Deliver me, Jesus.

From the desire of being approved, Deliver me, Jesus.

From the fear of being humiliated, Deliver me, Jesus.

From the fear of being despised, Deliver me, Jesus.

From the fear of suffering rebukes, Deliver me, Jesus.

From the fear of being calumniated, Deliver, me, Jesus.

From the fear of being forgotten, Deliver me, Jesus.

From the fear of being ridiculed, Deliver me, Jesus.

From the fear of being wronged, Deliver me, Jesus.

From the fear of being suspected, Deliver me, Jesus. 

That others may be loved more than I, Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.

That others may be esteemed more than I, Jesus grant me the grace to desire it.

That in the opinion of the world, others may increase, and I may decrease, 

Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.

That others may be chosen and I set aside, Jesus grant me the grace to desire it.

That others may be praised and I unnoticed, Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.

That others may be preferred to me in everything, Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.

That others may become holier than I, provided that I become as holy as I should,

Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.

Pride muddies everything. It is a cover up we depend on so we feel emotionally strong and confident and avoid the very naked awareness of our vulnerability. We “self talk” our way out of feeling the burn of being humbled when our pride backfires on us and someone gets hurt. We go to others and commiserate to soften the blow. Let’s take it to the cross instead and be empowered by the merciful love our Savior. 

Once intentional reflection and practice on the virtue of humility becomes the blood that flows through our every discourse and each exchange with a loved one, co-worker, or student… our own path becomes that much clear as we are lead by the Spirit. 

Perfection is the enemy of progress, especially as we strive to grow in holiness.

White Spaces

When you read a book words matter, of course! But have you ever thought about the purpose of the white space? …Everything between the straight, black, carefully ordered lines? I’ve always believed it is in the white space that a book takes life, information grabs hold of our imagination, and we become transformed. 

In prayer recently, the Holy Spirit struck my heart. He told me - I am the white space of your prayer and your day. He not only surrounds us, but if we humble ourselves - He leads. 

Having a growth mindset means trusting in that white space…engaging in those moments when the perfect lesson plan goes astray. Where is God leading you and your students? It is the moment in the hallway with a student whose not even “your own” that you encounter, help, notice, and breathe life into. It is the coworker who you sense needs you and you respond - even if it means abandoning your own agenda for the moment. 

When I lay my head down at night and reflect upon my day, it is very rarely the words in black that I wrote that have changed me and helped me to grow in virtue. It is usually the white space in which the Holy Spirit was constantly moving and I following with childlike innocence, trusting that I am responding as He wishes. 

Creating a plan certainly is virtuous in itself. We know that we find God in order, not chaos. Doing our best to prepare for a day lessens anxiety so we might better hear God’s voice in the white space. Yet, I have found in those unpredictable moments we are given opportunities of grace. Our day becomes a dialogue with God rather than our own narrative. 

This is true also of our prayer life. Do you have white space in your prayer routine? Are you always in the lead when you pray or do you let God lead? Sometimes it’s not what we say, but what we don’t say that God might hear. I have found on some days my “white space” is cloudy, not clear. I need God to breath His love so I might become His story. 

The Process

Last weekend my family went up to our little cabin that my husband has been hand building the past four years on his limited vacation days…a small little dream that he's trying to make a reality for his sons. This final long weekend of the summer was dedicated to trenching and laying wire so we might one day have electricity…(my hopes for solar power were sadly diminished over time due to the property being fully wooded.) 

During the process of trenching, I felt a sense of sadness overcome me. Up until now, the long stretch of “driveway” has been where the children’s activity has taken place. I love the way the pine needles have fallen over the years, mixing in with the sandy dirt making a natural pathway. I have fond memories of walking the babies in the stroller up and down this path and watching them play. 

As I watched the trench snake its way down the middle of this precious path, I found myself wondering if it would ever be the same again.

As we dug, we found giant rocks and even boulders that would stop us along the way. It took both of us to lift some of them out. There were so many that we joked that if we would’ve known, we could have used the stones for the cabin instead of siding. 

I found myself talking to God through this process trying to find joy in the dream we were realizing together, rather than resentment that this may be the way I was spending my last few days with the family before the craziness of the new school year would fully set in. 

In my prayer, I realized that deepening our relationship with Him sometimes requires disrupting the peaceful status quo. It was messy and unpredictable at times, but we had to trust that eventually we would make it. We also had to depend on each other along the way. Even the little boys had responsibilities and actually seemed to enjoy them. 

We all need to take time to dig deeply, but not just dig a hole - rather a trench! We can spend a lot of time trying to know God, only to come up feeling exhausted and wondering where He is at in the face of trials. We dig deeper, sometimes becoming skeptical or scrupulous, instead of moving forward into His loving embrace.

You see... we we’re on a very specific path. God wants us to be specific in our prayer and our direction as we find our way to His most Sacred Heart with the Holy Spirit as our guide. The cabin will be nice one day I'm sure, but the most real "dream" we should all be focusing on is of course heaven. 

There were so many rocks piled up at the end of our venture, I wondered how we could possibly fill it all back in without them. I couldn’t believe what existed beneath that seemingly calm, sandy layer of soil  brushed sweetly with pine needles. What is hidden deep down in your heart that is weighing you down?

God is the master builder. If we take the time to gut the rocks that are weighing us down that keep us further from Him (resentment, unnecessary judgment, needless worries, anger, regret…) then He will bless us by not only by filling it all in with His love, but making the path to eternity more beautiful than it was when we started. 

Sweet Surrender

This summer I’ve been reflecting on control. My sister gave me this beautiful Surrender Novena.It perfectly encapsulates the truths of the Spirit that have been guiding us in previous posts, and of course, it was just what I needed. 

Surrender.

When you pray do you start out with a list of your needs, petitions, thanksgivings, or sorrows? Does this progress into your list of ways you’ve been working on redemption? Are you doing all the work and making sure God knows?

Or, do you do as the second reading in this past Sunday’s liturgy of the word suggests? 

The Spirit comes to the aid of our weakness;

for we do not know how to pray as we ought,

but the Spirit himself intercedes with inexpressible groanings. 

And the one who searches hearts

knows what is the intention of the Spirit,

because he intercedes for the holy ones according to God's will.

(Romans 8:26-27)

It’s hard to give up control…

Even when we pray.

Depending on your natural temperament, relinquishing control may come slightly easier for the easy going phlegmatic and more difficult for the brazen choleric, but other crosses of anxiety and despair might dominate in its place. 

I’ve been thinking a lot about anxiety lately. Mainly because everyone I speak with I feel is struggling with it in some way or another. I argue it is very connected to our sense of control. Perhaps it is the impossible demands of our culture and influences we can’t escape or even worse aren’t even aware of…wordly pressures for esteem, a picture perfect house or body, popularity…even on social media. 

If we can use the fruits of the spirit as a tool to understand God’s will in our lives and for reassurance that we are His path and not ours, then I also think we can use anxiety as a measure as well. I believe it is a modern day tactic of Satan to distract us from our beautiful relationship with God. 

Does this sound familiar?

Deliver us, Lord, from every evil, and grant us peace in our day.
In your mercy keep us free from sin and protect us from all anxiety as we wait in joyful hope for the coming of our Saviour, Jesus Christ.

It should. The priest says it every mass before we conclude the Our Father. It’s important.

Let me share how easily the devil can work through a very ordinary moment for any working family and how we might use our sense of anxiety and our sense of the fruits of the Spirit to do God's will:

We’ve returned home from being up north. There are ten loads of laundry to be done. With hubby on second shift, I return home from work to a house in total disorder. His response: It was a rough morning. 

I aim for compassion, but feel resentment instead. The anxiety sets in. I have worked tirelessly to organize things so the kids toys can be enjoyed and for our little house to not seem cluttered. Things are sorted and labeled. This box is action figures, this ziplock bag the little weapons, this old Halloween bucket the blocks, vehicles in this toy box, baby learning toys in the laundry basket…teachers and moms alike reading this know the power of ziploc and containers. All I see is that nothing is where it should be and not only that, it is all mixed together. 

I focus on it and my anxiety grows even bigger. All these nice things we have for the boys now seem like junk, unusable, the children disinterested if they have to move furniture just to find the parts that might make it do something.  I start looking at my home and seeing how small it is, how unfinished it is. My eyes sees all the flaws instead of the blessings. I’m tired from my own long day.

More anxiety.  The devil loves it. He attacks. It grows into questions about my marriage. I start to think falsely that my husband doesn't appreciate me or all the little things I do to manage the household while working full time. How hard is it to stop a clock every half an hour and pick things up, I think to myself? The compassion lessens. I don’t stop to consider that I had asked my husband to help the boys make a card or craft for mom’s birthday later on my way out the door. A task completely out of his comfort zone. The equivalent of asking me to fix the battery and motor on a driving toy. The devil wants me to lose my empathy. He wants me to focus on the disorder. He relishes in the anxiety.

I say the words from the Surrender Novena:

O Jesus, I surrender myself to you, take care of everything!

I say them again…

and again.

I step back and refocus and count the blessings…Not only do we have beautiful things but we have grandparents still alive who I can connect these toys to from Christmases and birthdays. Rather than burying myself in resentment, I open up communication with my husband and tell him how I felt coming home, then I hear about the frustrations of his morning.…there is space for the Holy Spirit again. The anxiety is still there, but it is not ruling me. It is just making me think in a healthy way about some realistic long term and short term solutions. 

The devil shrinks back. I have surrendered to the Spirit and the evil one knows he is no match now. 

The next morning the kids and I have a “sort party.” In this process, we start making donate pile. We talk about our blessings. We pray for the less fortunate. We pray for the people who have gifted us many of the items. The fruits of the Spirit dominate more and more!

Next, I start to work on other little parts of the house that needed a good Spring cleaning that we never had.  I choose a few key areas that I can conquer and control during nap time …clothes that haven’t been worn in years…make up that is dried up and old that needs to be tossed. I do NOT stare at the doors that need to go up or the space that might one day be a second bathroom that we so desperately need. The Spirit helps me to see what I can control and what I cannot. I feel peace, joy, and self control. Order is restored. 

God has won this very typical, very ordinary battle.

Jesus, I love you. Thank you for taking care of everything.