The Journey

As the school year comes upon us and we are grappling with changes, whether it be new positions, new schools, a new boss, new routines or the unknown needs of our new students. If you are like me you have to ask God to bury any doubt, anxiety, fear, and for some, even anger. When I do this, the Holy Spirit renews me with gentle reminders of the gifts of the Spirit and the strength within me.

When I focus on God’s purpose and His will, these other temptations that take over my spirit become weaker. This year when teachers enter the media center at my school for the “longed for” faculty meeting on the first day back, a scallop shell will be placed in front of them.

A quick google search will lead to multiple blogs and reflections on the scallop shell - some Christian and some dating back to ancient mythology. They are a symbol of birth, baptism, and good fortune. The most striking symbolism for me derives from the relationship of the scallop shell and Christian history related to St. James and the Road to Santiago where St. Jame's remains are buried. It has always been on my bucket list to walk, “The Way.”

One website states describes the scallop shell as, “a symbol that guides pilgrims along the way towards their ultimate destination, and is frequently worn by those who embark on such a journey.”
We all know that each school year brings with it a new journey, remarkably different from the year before and in some sense we are all pilgrims.

Here is a description I found quite moving. The full article is found here:

“St. James was an ordinary pilgrim like the rest of us. He walked a long difficult road with Jesus; he was imprisoned by his raging emotions, and he went through metaphoric fires to free himself and discover the vastness of his spirit. He learned how to live an authentic, peaceful life and he shared his personal lessons with others….

…we are all undertaking our own unique journeys, governed by the lessons that we need to learn, and the people that we are evolving into…

..No two pilgrims are alike, and though we walk the same roads on the outside, our inner pathways wind through very different emotional landscapes.

…The Scallop Shell has many grooved lines that lead from the outer rim to a meeting point at the base. The shell itself represents the many different spiritual/religious/humanist pathways that lead to the same place, to the universal centre of all life-forms, the spirit, the soul…

We are all on the outer rim of the spirit, struggling to find our way back to our centre. The Scallop Shell reminds us why we are walking, especially at the points when the journey feels too hard and we want to give up.

….It reminds us to focus on our journey only, and that each person has their own story that is unfolding. It reminds us that we are all ultimately one sacred soul, and that each of our roads are leading back to each other.”

Organizations talk a lot about their mission and their vision. While each church often has their parish mission on the front page of their bulletin, as Christians our ultimate vision is to live a life of holiness and to become a saint. I share in the church's mission through commitment to becoming a well-formed, intentional disciple with my first responsibility being to myself, husband, and children and extended outward from there.

Likewise as a leader in my school, I know that my vision is to support well-formed, intentional educators who are encouraged and empowered to use their strengths to carry out their passions as they all walk the different paths toward our shared vision. They will influence others in positive ways as sharing their gifts will bring joy to those they encounter. They will love more deeply and this alone is the antidote to a sense of failure even when we encounter challenges or changes.

Ultimately, allowing people to work within their passions and share their wisdom with others or strengthen systems through their talents will lead to a sense of fulfillment that will permeate and inspire others. This mindset is echoed in George Couros book The Innovator’s Mindset.

So often we think only of our weaknesses, setting goal after goal to improve upon it. But will our weaknesses improve unintentionally if we take time with Jesus and Mary to find out how we might do His will by living out fully the gifts given to us?

I argue that by taking the time to reflect upon our strengths and asking God to use them fully to carry out His plan requires us to humble ourselves.

By identifying our strengths we must also admit to our weaknesses. Through this awareness we must consciously allow others “into” the space between our strengths and weaknesses to be the glue.

We must depend on others, trust their gifts, and believe in them too. Together, in community, we become more holy with our sights set on the ultimate vision.

It is hard not to depend on ourselves for everything, even if we feel we are the type of disciple who gives everything to God. While this may be true, let’s also be honest....there is a temptation to work alone at times rather than work together.

The choleric wants to maintain total control. The melancholic must find a way to trust what unfolds and avoid over-analyzing in an unhealthy way.  The phlegmatic might be pressed to do something new and is afraid of how it might affect others, be fearful of unfavorable consequences, or stepping on someone’s toes. The sanguine will relinquish a sense of their free-spirit and be challenged to share the spotlight.

While we may walk our own path, it is by trusting in others along the way that we meet our destination.


It is within this deeply intimate place we discover Christ.

Relationships grow.

Relationships are tested.

Our love is carried out upon different paths, and as the scallop shell illustrates, leads us to the same destination- a soul draped in the mantle of Mary’s love and prepared for heaven to meet our Lord where will be with Him in the place He has prepared for us.

Elevation

“Elevation is when we're moved by good deeds done for others; gratitude when the deeds are done for us.”

A popular movement in education today is examining systems in place that encourage or recognize positive behavior. PBIS. I recently read an article on CNN, titled, Seeing the Pope help strangers made me tear up. Later I learned why, by Daniel Burke. The article was Mr. Burke’s account of his own personal journey trying to intellectually explain the emotions that overcame him when he saw Pope Francis blessing the elderly and poor.

Just reading the article made me tear up. Unlike Mr. Burke, I am an emotional person. I am a sanguine-phlegmatic after all. I have spent years “growing in virtue” by practicing moderation and humility. I have struggled daily to respond to conflict presented to me from the angst of many diverse situations in a clinical, objective manner while never sacrificing compassion and honesty. I joke often about God’s chosen path for me and know I MUST be His disciple and it MUST be His will because it is like choosing Daniel to fight Goliath.

Yet - here I am Lord.

Burke defines elevation as it was proposed by Thomas Jefferson, “Jefferson describes the effects of observing moral beauty, ‘When any ... act of charity or of gratitude,’ he wrote, ‘is presented to our sight or imagination, we are deeply impressed with its beauty or feel a strong desire in ourselves of doing charitable or grateful acts also.’ "

It’s not just “feeling good." It compels you to want to do something good as well.

How does your mindset and temperament affect your ability to be transformed by elevation during times of change? I argue that true leaders and true heroes emerge during times of change that find creative ways to model acts of charity and goodness despite seemingly impossible obstacles. Therefore, it is advantageous for us to practice this during ordinary times and rituals.

A fixed mindset might be crippled by a sense of mental paralysis. Yet, we are called to move beyond that. To have a growth mindset means to embrace fully the three greatest or theological virtues: Faith, Hope, and Charity.

What are my obstacles to charity? I have identified two obstacles to charity that I experience.  The first is fear. The second is rationalizing. I fear that if I give what I have, upon the twists and turns of destiny my family will suffer because I was too liberal with my blessings.

Remember I am a sanguine and moderation is a virtue I have been intentional in accomplishing. This is exactly what leads me to rationalize the times I make decisions out of self preservation. Another cross! It seems like a vicious circle. I want to be a saint so badly - the saint that empties myself out in every way to fulfill God’s plan.

 I am realizing this tension is normal and God loves me through it so long as we (He and I) keep talking about it. For this I have gratitude, something that comes much more naturally to me and elevates me daily to rise above negativity or other temptations that present themselves.

Today, I challenge you to be elevated by being in the present moment and open your eyes and hearts to intimate moments of selfless love around you - those that present themselves in simple ways and those that exceed our own personal realm of possibility. May they transform us in God’s grace and His will for our lives and His kingdom.

Perspective, Presence, and the Passion

Let me take you back to last weekend. It’s Palm Sunday. We are entering church. I have coached the kids on the three rules once we enter the church: Be still. Be quiet. Pray Deeply. I have prepped them that things will be a little out of routine…that we’d be standing in the gathering space outside of the sanctuary and the priest will bless the palms. I have to break up one minor sword fight with the palms, but the boys are redirected quickly. Another parishioner greets me who can always sense my motherly insecurity and compliments the boys.

The Gospel is long. I choose to ignore the boys who are being relatively good coloring. I’m afraid that if I engage with them, they will seek my attention. Yet, I need to make sure Stanley doesn’t fall off the pew or disappear. I am mentally managing this balance when a verse strikes me that I have never really paid attention to before. Judas has just betrayed Jesus. The soldiers have come. There is some chaos but Jesus reprimands them all..and then the priest reads this:

“And they all left him and fled.
Now a young man followed him
wearing nothing but a linen cloth about his body.
They seized him,
but he left the cloth behind and ran off naked."

On our way home, I ask my husband if anything stood out to him about the Gospel and if he recalled that verse. He said he never remembered that part either but also heard it today and it stood out. I am befuddled for several reasons. First of all, I am a cradle Catholic. I have read the Passion, heard the Gospel, wept and prayed with my Lord and Mary through these events year after year. At first I was disturbed. What else am I missing? I humbly decide this is a great example of why the Word is Living and decide to talk with God about it.

I get home and start googling a couple of things. I discover that Mark’s account is the only one that includes this detail. I also discover that through out time saints and scholars have also asked the same questions that were driving my own curiosity.

Who is this mysterious man that attempts to follow Jesus when even his closest disciples flee? And, why was he barely clothed?

There are many theories out there and they are all of course speculation. The one that made most sense to me is that the young man was Mark himself. I learned a lot about the Gospel writer Mark in this process, but even more about his mother Mary who is mentioned in the Acts. I learned that many have speculated that the Passover of the Lord was in her home, as this was the same place the early church gathered to pray for Peter’s protection in the Acts. One idea is that Mark awoke and tried to find Jesus at the garden…maybe to warn him… or simply to be there too “with the guys,” like any any teenage boy would desire. The humanity and realism of it all strikes my heart.

I ask the Holy Spirit to help me understand why He wanted me to pay attention to this detail. I ask Him to lead me. I begin to think of a friend of mine who is an artist that I’ve known since my own teenage years. I think of how in many of his murals if you look closely at the activity of the scene, you can find him somewhere obscurely painted in, standing near a lamp post or peering through the window.

I think of myself as a writer, how I always place myself in the story to be empathic and to relate to those who might read my words. Time is precious. If they are reading my words, they must be meaningful. The humanity needs to be there or they are wasted.

I think back to Mark who is later writing the Gospel, likely piecing together much of what Peter has orally passed on to him and what he remembers himself. I feel him struggling to decide whether or not he should record his own placement in this famous scene. He battles with his intentions.

Is it humble to include himself? Has he ever even told his mother that he snuck out of the house that night? She would be horrified to know he was so close to such danger. He battles within finally deciding that if he does not directly name himself then there is less ego involved.

He prays about it. He asks for the Holy Spirit to guide his choice. He finally decides to include it.…a signature of sorts. Not just, I was there, but… This is real. And through these verses 51 and 52 in Chapter 14 of Mark’s gospel, the Holy Spirit continues to work as I draw closer to account of the passion over 2000 years later.

The choices we face and how we struggle through them is the process God uses to help us grow in virtue. It is through this process by which we are sculpted. I think of a guided reading framework we are implementing at my school. Teachers might be hesitant to adopt another “program” that will fade away. My literacy coach and I are trying our best to help them see that the framework is a practice, not a program. We are in a paradigm shift. For years teachers have been given programs and have been told to follow the "script" with fidelity and success will come. Yet, we believe nothing can replace a well-informed, intentional teacher. In the same way there is no script or “program” that can replace a well-informed, intentional disciple.

Mark was living out His calling by using his talents to record and pass on the Gospel. Yet, unlike John or Matthew, he was just a teenager when history unfolded. He was blessed to be the son of Mary who opened her home to Jesus and His followers, despite the risks she faced. She was living out her calling and her children were influenced deeply by her commitment and trust.

Over the next four days, we will participate in the greatest story ever written in history, authored by God. The story of His love for us…His persevering, triumphant love. We all have a role in it. Where are you in each moment and each scene?

Will you flee like Jesus closest companions? Don’t worry. He still loves you. You’re human. Though Christ has conquered sin, we are still bound by our weaknesses. Each temperament has them.

Will you hide and watch the violence from afar and muffle your weeping so you are not heard?

Will you stay home, trapped by fear or by your own stubbornness?

Will you be brave like Veronica and run to Jesus, driven by your compassion, and wipe the blood from his face?

Will you go to the tomb on Sunday morning? Will you find it empty?

Will you believe, truly believe it?

Wherever you are in the Gospel. God will meet you there. He will meet you where you are at and He will love you through it. After all, he was once both human and divine. He knows a thing or two about our weaknesses. He is counting on you coming home to him.

As we prepare Easter baskets and Easter eggs, shop, and cook…He is preparing a place for us too. He is counting you in.

Discover Purpose

We’ve been talking a lot at my school lately about “purpose” and “engagement.” A learner might be engaged in a task busily completing the directions of the assignment, but their engagement level increases significantly to a higher level of comprehension, problem solving, and making deep connections if they also know the purpose of the task. As teachers, we’ve been challenging ourselves through simple practices to help learners discover the purpose behind a learning target. 

This is true for us as adults as well. As an administrator I have learned that the purpose of an expectation or protocol is not established (with true roots) simply because I explain or introduce the purpose at a faculty meeting or in the staff notes, even if I think I explain it well. Rather teachers have to come to know it in a personal way and discover its purpose. 

For example, for public schools the State of Michigan has implemented the 3rd Grade Reading Law which has led to quite a makeover of how we address (and document how we’re addressing) the needs of struggling readers. It takes time, something no one has much of...The goal is the power of collaboration and collective efforts in this process which is the key to student success. However, I can’t wave a magic wand and make all understand that purpose.

 I work closely with my leadership team to provide authentic opportunities for everyone to encounter and discover its purpose in a meaningful way. Because it is law and does not come from within, many mindsets get stuck at the compliance end of the documentation.

The demands of education have changed and there is very little patience left for compliance related tasks, even though these tasks are often an important part of the process. It is an underlying conversation or tension that crawls beneath each “change” introduced…even if everyone has a common understanding of the positive intention of that change…even if everyone is trying to embrace a growth mindset by taking risks and not being paralyzed by failure in the face of change. 

This sense of discovery in purpose is not “one size fits all” or “one and done.” It is a layered process and takes time. We all have our own unique pace and so do our students. We also have an individual responsibility to chip away at the burdens of our temperaments and mindsets that might be a barrier to engaging in the greater purpose or we risk losing the “joy” that led us to our calling and vocation. Joy is a fruit of the Spirit and will be given endlessly if we practice the path of holiness through intentional growth in virtue. It’s not easy.

It is my goal to meet each educator where they are at and to invite them into the conversation over and over again because each voice is important. The same is true for teachers and their students. We need to meet our students where they are at in helping them understand the purpose behind the busy work they are engaged in. It takes a lot of work and heart to do this day after day. We have so many needs, but God is with us and ready to meet us where we are at. 

In Day # 3 of his Surrender Novena, Fr. Dolindo teaches us a deeper purpose of the words our Lord Jesus Christ taught to us. How often do you say the Our Father with a heart of compliance versus a heart of purpose? This novena has deepened my sense of purpose when I pray this traditional prayer. 

He writes: “Hallowed be thy Name,” that is, be glorified in my need. 

“Thy kingdom come,” that is, let all that is in us and in the world be in accord with your kingdom. 

“Thy will be done earth as it is in heaven,” that is, in our need, decide as you see fit for our temporal and eternal life. 

If you say to me truly: “Thy will be done,” which is the same as saying, “You take care of it,” I will intervene with all my omnipotence, and I will resolve the most difficult situations. 

For as long as I have said the Our Father, “Hallowed be thy Name” has always been a pretty fancy way of saying, “Hello great King and Father!” But now I have discovered greater purpose in this single line of of a prayer that I have recited since childhood. Now when I say, “Hallowed be thy name,” I also am saying, “Lord, I come to you in my need, those known to me and even unknown. Only you know my needs Lord and only You can save me. Through this act of humility, YOU ARE GLORIFIED.”

What more will the Lord make known when we humbly surrender to Him our needs, our anxieties, and our purpose? 

Resistance

I was recently introduced to the book Innovator's Mindset  by George Couros. I resisted the book at first being skeptical of, “the next thing,” likely capitalizing on Carol Dweck’s growth mindset research. Curiosity finally got the best of me. As expected, Mr. Couros was quoting Carol Dweck in the first chapter. Yet unexpectedly, I was deeply intrigued by his message.

What is the difference between a growth mindset and an innovator’s mindset? How does this apply to our quest to grow in virtue and holiness  by being intentional and empathic disciples? 

Couros defines an Innnovator’s Mindset as the, “belief that my abilities, intelligence, and talents can be developed, leading to the creation of new and better ideas.” 

Belief that our abilities, intelligence, and talents can be developed, we have explored in great length over the past year. We have applied growth mindset to being intentional about taking risks and allowing our own failures to strengthen us as we strive to grow in virtue. We have used growth mindset as a tool to respond to change in our classrooms, schools, churches, and personal life.

Couros takes this idea one step further by encouraging through empathy that we might discover new and better ideas. He argues that as educators by focusing on what’s best for learners, we will create and design learning experiences. 

He had me hooked when he used the word empathic. It was so affirming  as this has been the backbone of this blog. I actually went back to reread my very first post…November 25, 2016. It was the first week of Advent. Here was my challenge:

“I challenge you to consider your daily encounters or avoidance of encounters. I challenge you to revise them with a new mindset - one that is intentional and empathic.” 

The challenge remains the same. Yet now we know that while being intentional about meeting our students and those we love “where they’re at,” we too must ask the Holy Spirit daily to meet us where we are at and to lead us to the personal growth that our Lord so desires for each of us. Only then can we truly extend trust, openness, and collaboration in our classrooms, homes, and churches. 

For each of us that means something different. Perhaps your temperament is choleric. Extending a growth mindset to an innovator’s mindset might mean to be intentional about not being in charge all of the time; to step back a little and allow an environment for students to explore, to make room for the Holy Spirit to connect and inspire learning amidst all of your well executed plans…and of course embrace the unexpected in these moments, both good and bad, as something to learn from and create new. 

For the sanguine, who seems to be in a constant state of inspiration because they just can’t hold it all in, maybe it means being intentional about quieting down… stepping out of the center of attention so the Holy Spirit can bring forth the beauty of a moment -  Like a living highlighter bringing attention to connections you hadn’t seen before or hearing the voice of a child or colleague in a  new way.

For the melancholic, perhaps it means letting your guard down for just a little second. Stop questioning. Stop analyzing. Maybe even look for value in one of those ridiculous expectations that seem like a great injustice and busy work to which you must comply when you could be doing something better with your time. 

For the phlegmatic, it means having the confidence to speak up, even if and especially if, everyone might not agree with you. It means being empathic about the responses of others by not taking it personally, rather as a collective effort to problem solve.

Now…one might argue do we need innovation? Does it contrast the church’s clear opposition to trends in modernism, immediate gratification, and other cultural norms that distract us from gratitude, charity, humility, and true joy? 

I argue that the Saints had not only a growth mindset, but an innovator’s mindset. Despite glaring obstacles, challenges, failures, and persecution they persevered - allowing the Holy Spirit to lead them. Here are just a few that have changed the course of American education: 

St. Francis Cabrini Xavier: Because of her frail health, she was not permitted to join the Daughters of the Sacred Heart who had been her teachers and under whose guidance she obtained her teaching certificate. However, in 1880, with seven young women, Frances founded the Institute of the Missionary Sisters of the Sacred Heart of Jesus. She eventually made 23 trans-Atlantic crossings and established 67 institutions: schools, hospitals and orphanages. (https://www.mothercabrini.org/who-we-are/mother-cabrini/)

St. Katharine Drexel: During her lifetime, she opened, staffed and directly supported nearly 60 schools and missions, especially in the West and Southwest United States. Her crowning educational focus was the establishment in 1925 of Xavier University of Louisiana, the only predominantly Afro-American Catholic institution of higher learning in the United States. (http://www.vatican.va/news_services/liturgy/saints/ns_lit_doc_20001001_katharine-drexel_en.html)

St. Mother Theodore Guerin: A French nun of fragile health, Guerin was doubtful when her superiors asked her to sail to America to lead a small band of missionaries in rural Indiana. "It is astonishing that this remote solitude has been chosen for a novitiate and especially for an academy," she wrote in her journal. "All appearances are against it." Yet within a year she opened St. Mary's Academy for Young Ladies and went on to establish schools throughout Indiana and Illinois. (http://www.latimes.com/nation/la-na-pope-visit-us-saints-20150911-htmlstory.html)

All three of these women are Saints of the 20th century. They had a mindset Fixed on God, yet they were innovative and ready to respond to the needs around them. 

I’ll be honest I had never heard of St. Mother Theodore Guerin until about ten minutes ago when I did a google search. I think my favorite part of her bio is that she was “doubtful” when her superiors asked her to lead a band of missionaries to a remote land, yet she overcame that and did not let resistance come in the way of opportunity. She trusted. 

 After reading the Saints accounts, how silly I feel that I resisted even reading a recommended book because of my own speculations?  Wow. How humbling. I have such a long way to Sainthood! What have you resisted or doubted lately?

I suppose part of having an innovator’s mindset means to embrace where we are at by breaking the chains of constant resistance.  

Smallness

Tis’ the season…. I wake up. Tip-toeing around like usual so the slightest sound doesn’t wake the baby…or the toddler..or the preschooler. I admit…sometimes I say my morning prayer in the bathroom with the door closed afraid that once I exit and a footstep is heard, my window of quiet time will be lost. 

Today I decide to courageously light the Advent wreath on the little table in our kitchen. I open the junk drawer ever so carefully to not make a sound as I retrieve the lighter. Once successful, I sit down and take a deep breath and look around me. Above me hangs the Christmas cards that have been trickling in. The light catches glitter on one and my attention draws to the stable animals. Then, I lean over and reread the mass card I received from my mother. I opened it yesterday, but did not really pay attention as I should have when I hung it up with the others.

“A God who became so small, could only be mercy and love.”

 ~ St. Therese. 

The familiar “pricklies” that I’ve come to know course through my body and rise to my cheeks making a burning sensation. I have come to call this very tangible feeling of the Holy Spirit rising in me a kiss or a hug from my Lord. He speaks to me through this and I always know it is Him. 

Smallness.

How contrary to this reflection of St. Therese does Christmas seem to be. Big gifts, Big meals, Big gatherings. 

Yet, I think in my day to day life to those moments I make myself small so I can see with a real lens the needs of those I encounter…my students, my teachers, my parents, my friends, my own children, and so often last, my husband. 

We are prone to judgment, to excuses, to our own limited reality. How do we make ourselves small like the infant Jesus? I have already shared the Litany of Humility in this blog from which I have received so much strength from consistent daily meditation, which in my opinion is the cornerstone of a growth mindset.

My moments of anxiety, bitterness, self-doubt stem from those times I curse my unfinished and cluttered house, my lack of balance between work and home, my lack of quiet time to write and pray, my parenting skills. It’s a lot of racket I want to escape, but I can’t because I have responsibilities to my family and my community.

I just recently shared with my staff the following Steve Jobs video. He explains how his metaphor for teamwork came from a humble interaction with an elderly widowed man whom he knew from cutting his lawn. Making himself small enough to interact with him taught a lesson that shaped Steve Jobs life. The metaphor revolves around the exploration of an old machine in his garage to polish ordinary stones. 

While the stones were in the simple machine overnight, they made a lot of racket…but ultimately were smooth and beautiful to behold. This metaphor can be explored in great depth. But, let me say, I find it most beautiful that this moment ever occurred because Mr. Jobs wasn’t distracted or prideful, but made himself small, curious, and open to the world around him.

Sin is the racket in my life that takes me from this openness. The evil one uses my own insecurities to generate that anxiety, bitterness, and self doubt. It is loud and chaotic in my spirit at these times, yet they always bring me to my knees in supplication for God’s mercy. They always make me small, so I can receive his mercy and love.

In all of these real and vulnerable moments there is the little hand of my Lord, with his teeny tiny fingers holding on to my pointer finger. His trust is in Mary. He is God of the universe, so small, humble, and pure. That is why the evil one will always lose when we call upon the name above all names, Jesus Christ.

This Advent season I pray that God heals us. I pray that through our trials and our joys, He makes us small, like Him. 

“A God who became so small, could only be mercy and love.”

~St. Therese

Deliver Me

“Perfection is the enemy of progress.” This quote has surfaced a few times in professional dialogue over the course of the past few weeks. Today we will reflect upon how a focus on perfection can damage the very heart of relationships we depend upon to grow in virtue. 

In education, we are surrounded by people all day long...our students, our colleagues, our coaches and administrators, parents, and  community members. It is a profession built upon relationships with other.

My daily goal and prayer is to learn from every person I encounter each day, and do so with an unbiased approach through which the Holy Spirit can flow. This sounds so easy to write, yet if actively and honestly applying this approach, the challenge is immense. Why? The answer is our pride. As a matter of fact, our biases can blind us so deeply that they even make some people and moments invisible to us. In a addition, a sense of perfection can drive an unhealthy sense of competition amongst those we are called to support and learn from.

Humility is at the heart of a growth mindset. I am convinced it is the virtue on which all temperaments stand on common ground. It is from humility that the beautiful roots of self growth and collective growth is possible when we collaborate with others at professional development, in PLC’s or grade level teams, or in one on one exchanges. It is at the heart of family life as we sacrifice our own self-interest to elevate our spouse or children.

Regardless of our temperament, pride can get in the way of progress. So often a very palpable sense of competition might take over a choleric, or the joyful “know it all” of a sanguine clouds opportunities to genuinely listen, a narrow sense of justice might blind the melancholic, or lack of confidence may be disguised as humility by the phlegmatic who doesn’t want to give input or rock the boat. All of these tendencies stem from pride. Yet, once aware of them we can be intentional about pushing through and getting to the heart of our personal goal or team goal.

Here’s a phrase we throw around a lot as educators and parents. “Pick your battles.” There are times we know it best in our heart not to engage with another that is inviting conflict, whether it be a student or an adult, yet so often we make the wrong choice for the wrong reasons. 

Our pride invites us to engage - maybe somebody is watching the interaction and we don’t want to be judged...maybe the burning need to be respected is driving our response. What would happen if we removed “all eyes” - even our own - from the situation except Christ’s? Would we respond differently? 

To establish authority and show who is in charge is not necessarily wrong. As a matter of fact, to establish a culture of learning in our classroom or a culture of love in our homes, this is very necessary . Yet, pride is often a barrier as to how the Spirit might lead us in these intimate exchanges with those we love. 

The following is a Litany of Humility that I believe is at the core of growing in virtue and all other virtues: 

O Jesus meek and humble of heart, Hear me.

From the desire of being esteemed, Deliver, me, Jesus.

From the desire of being loved, Deliver me, Jesus.

From the desire of being extolled, Deliver me, Jesus.

From the desire of being honored, Deliver me, Jesus.

From the desire of being praised, Deliver me, Jesus.

From the desire of being preferred to others, Deliver me Jesus.

From the desire of being consulted, Deliver me, Jesus.

From the desire of being approved, Deliver me, Jesus.

From the fear of being humiliated, Deliver me, Jesus.

From the fear of being despised, Deliver me, Jesus.

From the fear of suffering rebukes, Deliver me, Jesus.

From the fear of being calumniated, Deliver, me, Jesus.

From the fear of being forgotten, Deliver me, Jesus.

From the fear of being ridiculed, Deliver me, Jesus.

From the fear of being wronged, Deliver me, Jesus.

From the fear of being suspected, Deliver me, Jesus. 

That others may be loved more than I, Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.

That others may be esteemed more than I, Jesus grant me the grace to desire it.

That in the opinion of the world, others may increase, and I may decrease, 

Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.

That others may be chosen and I set aside, Jesus grant me the grace to desire it.

That others may be praised and I unnoticed, Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.

That others may be preferred to me in everything, Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.

That others may become holier than I, provided that I become as holy as I should,

Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.

Pride muddies everything. It is a cover up we depend on so we feel emotionally strong and confident and avoid the very naked awareness of our vulnerability. We “self talk” our way out of feeling the burn of being humbled when our pride backfires on us and someone gets hurt. We go to others and commiserate to soften the blow. Let’s take it to the cross instead and be empowered by the merciful love our Savior. 

Once intentional reflection and practice on the virtue of humility becomes the blood that flows through our every discourse and each exchange with a loved one, co-worker, or student… our own path becomes that much clear as we are lead by the Spirit. 

Perfection is the enemy of progress, especially as we strive to grow in holiness.