Reinforcements

Why am I here?

What is my purpose?

Where am I going?

These three questions posed by Fr. Roy during the funeral homily of the father of a second grade student will stay with me forever. How did he summarize in under six minutes everything I would like to spend the rest of my life writing about, meditating on, evangelizing, and using as a source of inspiration for my art? It was six minutes that will frame and change the way I make choices and how I live.

At first, the questions just sort of glaze over because they're too big and don't seem to require an immediate answer. Minds drift, as he suspects. Then he continues...

(Side note: I kind of feel like a cheater just publishing someone else’s divinely inspired thoughts, but when great evangelization happens in our lost generation...as he calls it, it’s necessary to pass it along. I don’t think he’ll mind since his words so perfectly express the ultimate purpose of this blog. They were kind of like the reinforcement I needed and I hope you feel the same as well.)

Fr. Roy challenged everyone sitting at the funeral to be honest with themselves about how often they had become distracted in the previous 25 minutes…thinking about what else they had going on that day or that weekend. 

I mean, there we were, in the midst of absolute grief of the immediate family with the total and unique possibility of totally giving ourselves to be used as instruments of grace and comfort…or to at least be in committed, intentional prayer for the souls of the faithfully departed…

It reminded me of Jesus writing in the sand while all of the onlookers and accusers dropped their stones as they slipped away into shadows, staring silently into the ugliness of their own sins. 

No one gathered had any greater purpose than to be praying for the deceased and offering sincere comfort to the immediate family - yet no one, I’m sure of it, could say that they had not been distracted from that purpose by something arbitrary in the past 25 minutes.

I remembered having titled a blog post “distractions” and thought to myself that I should revisit it. Then I mentally scolded myself for again becoming distracted while Fr. Roy continued his homily.

We don’t do it “on purpose.” (I sound like a child!) We were of course gathered in love. But my loving Father says what any good parent would say, “I know little one…but you need to work on it.”

Bad habits are hard to break. 

If you were to die an hour from leaving here, how many of those things you’ve allowed yourself to be distracted by would remain important?

Only two things are important: Your relationship with God and your relationships with those around you. 

Relationships. 

Yes, I thought. That is the whole purpose of Fixed on God, Growing in Virtue - to open ourselves up to the tools in front of us to mend, grow, discover, challenge, and simply be in relationships with those around us in a way that will ultimately lead us to sainthood. 

Yet, how often do we find ourselves looking for a scapegoat? An excuse? How often do we find ourselves just simply lacking “mindfulness.” For me it is far too often and the subject of a different post. 

Why am I here?

What is my purpose?

Where am I going?

Do our honest answers lead us to greater fulfillment in relationship with Christ and with others by way of virtue? Or, if you follow the footsteps long enough do they lead to isolation, fear, anxiety, and loneliness? 

It’s Holy Week. What is still distracting you from a full renewal of your baptism promise on Sunday? When you join in pilgrimage these final days of Jesus’ Passion and Death, where are you going? What will you find? The empty tomb or one filled up with the dust, bones, and remnants of lost opportunities to be in healthy relationship with our Lord and those we love. 

Is your head spinning like mine was? Lay it down. Let it go. Reevaluate as many times as you must until you peel away all the layers and find at the core the truth - HIM.