Fruit of the Spirit

In the last post, we started to examine together the role of the Spirit as the initiator of God’s work in our lives. So often we give ourselves credit for moments of success (and failure) in life because we are immersed in a culture that tells us that we are the center. 

It’s time to stop taking everything so personally. 

Wait a second, isn’t the crux of this blog about having self-knowledge so we can grow in virtue? The answer is yes. But self-knowledge as a baptized son or daughter of Christ is substantially different then the message in self-discovery and mindfulness titles wall-papering huge sections of Barnes and Noble. 

Part of truly understanding the role of the Holy Spirit in our lives is accepting that the Spirit is always at work and is laying the path of God’s transformation before us. We cooperate with God’s grace when we deepen our prayer and interior life to respond to the promptings of the Spirit in love. 

Think about the things that others do that make you upset. How many of the actions are directed at you in spite? Taking it personally is just another trap of Western culture that makes us deaf and blind to the work of God in our lives. Instead, let us look at the behaviors of others first as a message. What are they communicating? 

Next, let us pray that God reveal the needs of that person so we might respond with love and grace, putting the needs of God’s sanctifying plan before our own desires and impulses. The language of the temperaments helps us to examine the behavior of another and our response through the eyes of God and our natural inclinations. 

Behaviors may be small patterns that we can ignore up to a point and then we’ve had enough. A behavior may be a one time occurrence that stands out so much we can’t get our mind off it. Behavior as a form of communication is so easily ignored when we are more self-absorbed than absorbed by the Spirit.

…If we live in the Spirit, let us also follow the Spirit. Let us not be conceited, provoking one another, envious of one another. Galations 5:25-26

Let’s examine a few typical and atypical behaviors we respond to as parents and teachers. A child blurting out, rolling their eyes, or testing your limits. Our initial response is to assume they are being blatantly disrespectful and consequences must be in place. Then what? 

Do we stop there? Do we hand them over to someone else to handle? Our husband, a note home to the parent, the principal? Maybe this partnership is necessary, but if we stop there then we’re missing a great opportunity for the Spirit to work through them and ourselves.

Do we make time to talk with the child (or adult) only to get a cold response or even an angry or rude reaction? Do we get annoyed by this and give up? Do you pray that the Spirit reveal in love the needs of the other and God’s response? 

… the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, generosity, faithfulness, gentleness, self control. Galatians 5:22-23

We all know that a child, colleague, or loved one who has shut down, tuned out, or any behavior that we label as rude or disrespectful needs more love, needs someone to turn into their pain and not away from it, needs compassion. Boy is this hard to do when we’re lost in ourselves, our own pride, and our own sense of entitlement.

Inspired by the Holy Spirit, we may remember a nugget about temperament and try to understand them more that way. We may be reminded of a scripture that gives us the language and courage we need to move beyond our own ego.

Lately, I’ve found myself being reminded to simply trust in the process and to trust those we journey with. God’s answers are not always our answers. Sometimes they take longer to reveal than we would like. Sometimes things seem like a contradiction. This is because we are so “untrained” in removing our “self “ from the center. 

This week challenge yourself to have more peace of heart by carefully examining the behaviors of others as a form of communication. Whether it be your spouse, a colleague, a student, or an entire class…Next, take time to pray. What are their needs? Don’t just guess - have courage and talk to them about it or seek help and input from another.