Divide and Conquer?

“Division is the weapon the devil employs most to destroy the Church from within.” ~ Pope Francis (http://www.catholicnewsagency.com/news/pope-francis-gossip-is-the-devils-weapon-against-the-church-26159/)

This past week that theme resonated from every crook, cranny, and attic of my life and in the most obvious spaces I spend my time and thought. The undercurrent of division is everywhere, even in the most “Catholic” of places - our homes, our schools, and yes, our churches. I argue that we must be on guard because it is even more palpable during this Holy season. Divide and conquer is the devil’s best trick and boy do we fall for it so easily. 

Stop reading for a minute and reflect on your past week. When was the devil dancing because he succeeded at a breakdown in relationship between you and someone you love -or- someone you have been called to work with on a project or goal, one aimed to advance your school’s mission? If I were the devil and I wanted a breakdown in relationships, I would start in our Catholic schools. From my experience, except at the Eucharistic table itself, there is nothing sweeter to Jesus than his little ones gathered daily and instructed in His love. We need to be aware and conscious of Pope Francis’ warning. What are our best weapons against the destructive force of division?

Here are a few nuggets from my week:

Weapon # 1: Communication

When a student asked Fr. Paul Donelly about what to do when you ask someone for forgiveness and they give you the silent treatment - not for five minutes, but for “like a week,” he said..and I’m paraphrasing a little… Silence separates us from Jesus. The minute we stop talking then there is no room for Jesus. 

His explanation about silence reinforces the glue of our journey together to grow in holiness. Healthy and holy relationships. The message of this blog is to grow in self knowledge so we can foster relationships in our lives, relationships that are healthy and strong, so together we can advance the mission of the church. 

Weapon # 2: Honesty. Honesty about where we are at, so we can truly meet others where they are at.

My sister, a devout and wonderful Catholic mother with a strong devotion to Mary, is also my Godmother. She takes that role very seriously and in my formative years when I was explorative and curious (very sanguine you’ll see!), she would warn me about being a “cherry picking Catholic.” I’ve heard others use the term “cafeteria Catholic.” I would like to argue that as we begin to explore the temperaments to grow in self knowledge and thereby in virtue by applying what we know to build relationships, it is important we don’t “cherry pick” with whom we want to be in a Christ centered relationship. If you’re in…you’re all in…

Still reading? 

Phew. 

Let’s get to work. If you look at the side panel of this blog (which won’t appear if you’re reading on your phone, so click on “web version”) there is a link to Art and Laraine Benett’s book, The Temperament God Gave Us. This is a great stocking stuffer for yourself or someone you love! They also wrote, The Temperament that God Gave Your Kids which is equally awesome for parents and teachers. Also, you can go on the internet and take various temperament quizzes to get an idea of the temperament that is your most natural state. I have a link to one provided that gives immediate feedback. 

If you start exploring temperament before actually reading the book, here is something important to remember:

Temperament neither defines our personality nor locks us into one pattern of reactions…(it) tells us how we naturally tend to react and makes certain behaviors, responses, virtues, and vices easier or more difficult for us. (p. 7)

No temperament is good or bad. People of every temperament have become Saints! Only Christ himself is perfection. 

Weapon # 3: Forgiveness

I have found that by being aware of my temperament and the tendencies of others, I forgive much more easily rather than becoming offended quickly. This in itself fosters relationships rather than division. 

I have also found that by growing in self knowledge, I am more specific in my prayer and conversations with Jesus. For example, once you know your temperament, you can pray for an increase in a certain virtue and believe me - whether you like it or not - God will start to give you opportunities to grow in these virtues. 

For example, a choleric, that classic go getter who likes to take charge, can pray for humility so he or she can truly accept constructive feedback. The melancholic who internalizes and analyzes everything  and who can often get brought down by what doesn’t seem fair or right can pray for joy and peace. Sanguines with a natural eagerness about life that can often get sidetracked (especially our prayer life) can pray for faithfulness and obedience. Phlegmatics wishing to avoid conflict and keep the peace can pray for perseverance in those moments it seems easier to withdraw and avoid a situation in which God is calling you to be a voice. 

Most importantly, instead of letting resentment fester that breeds division in our daily interactions with one another…we can simply take our frustration to the cross of Jesus and be more specific in our prayer for one another as well. 

Looking at life through this lens turns every moment into an opportunity to grow in vice (division) or virtue (relationship) with God and others. The most important weapon? LOVE.