Work in Progress

I am sure you desire tangible results from your efforts to grow in virtue? Who wouldn’t? Perhaps you’ve been “intentional” this past week to navigate outside of your temperament in hopes that something might change in an area or relationship in which you’ve been praying for grace. It wasn’t easy, was it? As a matter of fact, you probably felt a little vulnerable.

I had two moments this week that shed great light on the deeper purpose of Fixed on God, Growing in Virtue.

#1: Fr. Roy Horning at our weekly all school mass reminded us that when we were children we loved more freely and openly. Children are more likely to accept the Truth that Jesus loves us - unconditionally. Yet, something happens as we get older. We get more cynical and hard hearted. Why? Because we sin and this separates us from God. Worse, we may not be receiving the sacraments regularly, like going to mass or confession. Growing in virtue then becomes that active journey to “undo” the sin that has hardened us.  It’s okay, we are a work in progress. 

#2: Kasey Cronin, Executive Director of Genesee County Catholic Schools, in brainstorming with me and our teachers asked this question - At what point do we stop honoring the approximations of children and begin instead to expect perfection?  Her example was that of her grandson who says, “Bumpa” instead of “grandpa.” No one gets mad that this little child is falling short of the correct pronunciation. The toddler of course is not chastised. As a matter of fact, it is endearing to most. We smile at the effort of the child who is eager to communicate.

Her example shed light on thousands of examples I could produce as I watch my own children learn. I’m sure in reading this, you are remembering endearing things your parents told you that you did as a child or your own children did or said as they tried to make sense of the world. As we mature, our approximations become more and more the ideal. But along the way, we are a work in progress.

In my experience, we feel the most grace when we openly and honestly admit that all things (and people) are a work in progress. Me…you…your school is a work in progress. Your principal is a work in progress. Your colleagues are a work in progress. Each parent and student you encounter is a work in progress - so are our closest friends, our children, and yes, even those antagonists God places so carefully in our lives. 

Today I ask you to accept others as they are. No one is perfect…yet. We will not ever reach that perfection so long as we are bound by our flesh and our earthly desires.

Think of a person that has disappointed you this week or let you down. Remind yourself, that like you, they are also a work in progress. Certainly we can honor their “approximation” as they try to live out their baptismal call. Unlike the the little child whose mistakes are endearing, it is hard to see the faults of fellow disciples as anything less than purposeful. 

For example, maybe you are a parent reading this and you have school age children. Think of that moment in which your child’s teacher did not live up to your expectations. Perhaps your child has come home confused, hurt, or misunderstood. This is hard to bear.  Depending on our temperament, we are prone to react to disappointment in varied ways. A choleric might react right away, spouting off about why the teacher is in the wrong. The melancholic might internalize and dwell on it, thus becoming hard of heart. The sanguine might be prone to gossip… All of these reactions do not yield goodness. 

Instead of letting your disappointment rule you, remind yourself that we are all a work in progress. Go talk to the teacher and listen. (If you are choleric, give it a night's rest. If you are a melancholic, be open minded. If you are a phlegmatic - be armed with courage and grace. If you are sanguine, it's okay to take this moment to be serious.) Go into the encounter with the general understanding that 99% of teachers would never hurt a child in a purposeful way. Brace yourself too… There is a chance that you and the teacher may have opposite temperaments. If you recognize this going into the conversation, it will help you to see more where they were coming from. 

If you are a teacher, think of that moment in which your principal or a fellow teacher said something that seemed insensitive or got under your skin…maybe it was at a faculty meeting…maybe in the lounge. Maybe it is something you just can’t let go. Again, remember that your principal or colleagues are also a work in progress.  Ask yourself - does their natural temperament clash with mine? Can I ask God for grace to break down that barrier so we can come to understand what we have in common?  Certainly making the school a place of love is common ground we can all stand on. 

With Christmas upon us, we are swimming in gifts - writing lists, buying, wrapping, planning, giving. Believe it or not, the very best gift you have been given this week is that person with whom you clash the most. Without that person, you would not be challenged to step outside your temperament and grow in virtue. It is in coming to understand our relationship with them that requires the most sacrifice and the most love. We also receive the most fruits of the spirit; love, joy, peace…goodness.  

Next weekend we celebrate Christmas… The birth of our Lord and Savior who came to us as little baby. Let me repeat that…God gave us His son as a little infant…the antithesis of hard-hearted. Let us strive this week to make our hearts a little softer, even vulnerable, and dwell in the great Truth that His love is not an approximation. It is perfection.