Take Up My Cross (that wooden beam)

You hypocrite, remove the wooden beam from your eye first; then you will see clearly to remove the splinter from your brother's eye. ~ Matthew 7:5

We have spent the last month together exploring the temperaments, our natural impulses and reactions to situations, and how to relate to others on our team or in our family given their natural tendencies or patterns of reaction.

Choleric: Quick Reaction, Long lived impression

Sanguine: Quick Reaction, Short lived impression

Melancholic: Slow Reaction, Long lived impression

Phlegmatic: Slow Reaction, Short lived impression

Before we move forward on classroom applications of virtue education and using our knowledge about the temperaments to yield a positive school and classroom culture, we must first make a commitment to ourselves and each other.

Stop judging, that you may not be judged. ~ Matthew 7:1

Don’t get mad and stop reading. We don’t do it on purpose…most of us. Being judgmental is second nature to most of us, deeply engrained in our humanity and our sin. Being judgmental is also a gift as we sort out truth amidst that which leads to disillusionment and confusion. 

Yet, we seem to be hard wired to notice the vices in temperaments in ourselves and others before we pay close attention to the virtues. After reading this post, you may set out to conscientiously be more forgiving, less judgmental..but will mess up within the first ten minutes of walking through the school doors or into your home after a long day of work. I am speaking from experience…and I’m a sanguine whose naturally inclined to let things go more quickly (short lived impressions)! Yet, I do it.  I judge. Then, I put myself in check (often talking out loud to myself to make it stick …Sanguine!) and I start over. Then I fail and start over again …. 

Are you starting to see why growth mindset is so important in meeting our ultimate goal, the goal of eternity, to be in the arms of our heavenly Father accompanied by all of the saints forever! 

Let me use the phlegmatic disciple for a moment as an example. As we explored this temperament we learned that phlegmatics are slow to react in situations, like the melancholic, they tend to mull things over and chew on them for awhile before publicly taking a stand one way or another (if ever publicly taking a stand - they may just keep it between them and God forever!)  

Because of their inclination to introversion, when they do speak up it may come across in a variety of manners - awkward, rude, inflated, over-confident, or too passive, etc. While the phlegmatic has put a tremendous amount of energy stepping out of their backseat role to contribute, instead of looking at the positive in their idea or statement, other temperaments tend to get fixated on what was off-putting, rather than the intent of the person.

In a similar situation, a choleric will simply bull doze by any criticism and get everyone on point again. The sanguine will most likely say, “Oops…I didn’t mean it like that (insert humor, joke, deflection).” The melancholic usually takes little gruff either because the team usually expects them to offer advice and input that counters or dissects the message at hand. Since it's more expected, it is taken with a grain of salt. 

Let me take you back to a message from one of my first posts. To move ahead with any collective vision (hopefully preparing ourselves and others for sainthood as the greatest ideal) we need to meet each other where we’re at. 

Next time someone gets under your skin, try to analyze the situation. Separate your emotion from your faith and reason. Use your faith and reason to guide you. Very often we let our emotions rule us - a sense of being offended - when in reality the person who has offended us had no direct intention of doing so, it was simply the nature of their temperament that resulted in division…a gold mine for Satan to creep in and influence the mission. 

Let’s save our souls and thank God for the disciples with whom we travel, for their unique blend of temperaments, and for how they challenge us daily to look deeply into one another as Christ would:

• at the intention of an action, rather than focusing on poor execution 
• how to respond with faith and reason, rather than capricious emotions
• to forgive rather than judge
• to grow in virtue

For as you judge, so will you be judged, and the measure with which you measure will be measured out to you. ~ Matthew 7:2

Reflection/Prayer:

Choleric: Dear Jesus, Give me wisdom and grace to judge less and forgive more readily and to see with a broad vision the needs of my family, friends, and those I serve. 

Sanguine: Dear Jesus, Give me the discipline and obedience to look deeply at situations and hear your voice to guide my response to the needs of my family, friends, and those I serve. 

Melancholic: Dear Jesus, Give me the wisdom and grace to judge less and forgive more readily and to bring to fullness the ideals and truth you plant in my heart.

Phlegmatic: Dear Jesus, Give me wisdom and grace to bring to fullness the ideals and truth you plant in my heart and the courage to respond to the needs of my family, friends, and those I serve.