The Choleric Disciple

What gets noticed, gets done. 

Kasey Cronin reminded me of this unwritten truth as we reflected upon the norming process my staff was engaging in to find common ground with various tools for virtue based discipline and behavior support. What we found was that we had several forms at my school to capture a students needs and our best response, but most of our resources were to identify behaviors that needed improvement. How could we begin to better recognize those students who regularly cultivate virtue as well? 

What gets noticed, gets done.

“Don’t yell.” 

“Don’t talk while I’m talking.” 

“Don’t leave your things all over the place.” 

“Don’t hit.”

“Don’t cry.”

Norman Doidge points out in in The Brain that Changes Itself the research that shows “neurons that fire together, wire together (63)” through the neuroplastic nature of our brain function. Enough repetition of our brain “firing together” and more progess is made as the neurons wire together. In other words, habits are hard to change.

This is why it’s important to turn things around sometimes and focus on the virtue rather than the vice. Make a habit of regularly noticing and repeating what you want done, rather than what you do not want. 

“Soft voice.”

“Bubbles in your mouth..”

“Tidy up.”

“Nice hands.”

“Be calm”

The choleric disciple has a temperament that often stands out for getting things done. Art and Laraine Bennet describe the choleric as classic go getters that love to take charge of projects and people. They make battle plans and delegate roles. Cholerics are confident and decisive. A choleric will react quickly and intensely to situation.

Think of your classroom or family dynamic for a second. Do you have two “strong personalities” that sometimes collide right into one another…over and over again. Both personalities are too stubborn to back down? In cooperative learning settings, having more than one choleric in a group is a great way to help them intentionally grow in virtue, but can also be a recipe for disaster if you don’t plan on teaching virtue along with the core objective. Let’s take a snapshot of other relationships we can cultivate intentionally and empathically with our choleric brothers and sisters in Christ.

Teacher to Teacher (Colleague to Colleague): Sometimes a choleric can come across harsh or critical. Don’t take it personally. They don’t intend for you to take it personally. They simply are trying to reach the goal and won’t always slow down or find it necessary to consider everyone’s feelings along the way. If they are forging ahead on the mission and progress is being made, then that’s all that matters to them and they think it’s all that should matter to you.

Principal to Teacher (Supervisor to Employee): Your choleric teachers will take the lead on school improvement, fundraisers, and service projects. Appreciate that, but also stay in tune with others as they delegate. Help them to be aware of how they approach the team and be ready to do a little bit of intervention when necessary to make sure everyone is in tune. 

Teacher to Student: Your choleric students are driven! If you make your objective clear and help them find the value in mastering it, you will both feel a great sense of achievement. Choleric students thrive on competition.  They will naturally turn learning into a competition in class and can be quite outspoken along the way. This can be frustrating to others as the choleric may come across insensitive or possessive at times. Teach your choleric students how to compete against their own accomplishments by raising the bar. Use visual tools like data charts to help them self assess and monitor their goals. 

Parent to Child: Your strong willed child may be cause for a lot of deep breathing at times, but guide them in virtue and teach them to fix their gaze and sights on heaven. What a gift the choleric child is as they speak and lead others to Christ and defend the teachings of the church without tiptoeing around the Truth! Just be careful to always model patience and humility. Nurture a strong devotion to the Holy Mother so that they might learn from her docility and tenderness in their approach as well. 

Self: You are a hard worker! You thrive on activity and work. The Lord sees your effort and you will be rewarded greatly. In his Confessions (Lib 1,1-2,2.5,5: CSEL 33, 1-5) Saint Augustine famously states “You have made us for yourself, O Lord, and our heart is restless until it rests in you.” Take time to pause and rest in the Lord today. Enjoy and appreciate those who labor along with you. Try not to get fixated on the “faults” in others that might slow you down, rather the gifts they are willing to offer. 

Thank you Jesus for those who lead our homes, parishes, and school with passion and enthusiasm. Open our eyes to the needs of others as we do Your will. Give us a broad vision, foresight, and patience as we build up Your church. Help us not to isolate others or be blinded by pride. Rather, may we empty ourselves out so that only Your face is seen, Your words heard, and Your actions revealed… Lord, make it so that YOU are what gets noticed and YOUR will is what gets done. Amen.